When I tell people I’m a therapist, it usually starts a string of questions. There are strong perceptions out there about what therapy is and isn’t. I’m hoping this first blog post will help clarify what people seem to be asking me:
So, what actually happens in therapy and why do people go to therapy?
First, let’s talk about the “what” part of that question. Therapy goes by many names – counseling, psychotherapy, talk therapy, coaching – but what it all boils down to is meeting with a mental health professional who is a 3rd person. Meeting with someone who has no stake in the game allows you to be completely honest and say the things we often hesitate to say to our friends or family. Therapy is a safe place to discuss what’s going on in your head and heart. It is NOT me telling you what to do. The truth is most of us know how to solve our own problems. We struggle taking the first step and need a little space and clarity. Once we get that, we can take action.
Now, the “why.” Therapy in its best form is a preventative measure. Although people come to therapy with a specific concern in mind, we talk about it in a broader context. The point is to give you some coping skills, look for patterns in your past, and discover your personal values so that whatever you face in the future, you are better armed to handle it. Unfortunately life doesn’t come with a manual to handling the ups and downs, the stress, or the pain. Therapy can help you tune into yourself better so that your head and heart can become your manual.
One last point – no one comes to therapy without fear or worry. It’s completely normal to feel nervous about making a call or showing up to your first session. I get it, I’m a stranger and you’re about to share things that are personal and dear to you. I know that you may tell me things you have never said out loud. I know this is difficult and I think you’re brave for showing up. I don’t have any expectations or judgments about you. To be honest, the first thing I do is look for your strengths. Those strengths are usually our starting point. I also try to be as real and welcoming as possible. I use a lot of humor too. Most of the time people leave therapy feeling relief. And if you decided to try therapy and it doesn’t feel right, that’s okay too. My hope is that if you’re ready or looking for change, you give it a try. What do you have to lose?
If you need a little more evidence, check out the following articles about the benefits of therapy:
Putting Feelings Into Words Produces Effects in the Brain
The Effectiveness of Psychotherapy: The Consumer Reports Study
Psychodynamic Psychotherapy Brings Lasting Benefits through Self-Knowledge